Dignity Restored

I don't know how much longer i can continue, trying to claim my "rightful recognition" towards the creation of, "O Magazine", and, not for reasons one might suspect. When people say to me: "The things i speak can't be true" i can live with that, because, i know that they are. When others make threats against my liberty and even my life, this too is of no consinquence to me, because again, at least i know i have lived for what i belieave in, and in my own way__fought for it. Even constantly having to look over my sholder, because i don't know who might be following me, any more than i know what are their intentions against me, this too rolls-off me__like water on a ducks back. However, to know that those whom appose and deni me the recognition that is mine, and to understand they would do so for all the days i walk this earth__should they have their way, this does more than simply shatter my faith in Establishment. It in fact drains me of the very energies i need, for my all too human cells to even grow, multiply and survive !!

There was a time when i thought what, O, did to me, or the way she did it to me, had to be the real worst thing i would ever need experiance.
You see, i sent her a number of articles__seperate from that original letter; where'which she got the idea to launch her magazine. Two months later i got those articles returned to me; with the understanding: they would not be published. So what...I could live with that. It's not like i had ever been published before, or that i then knew what it was like to be denied in that way. No...it was what else accompanied those returned articles, and the under'handedness which was praticed by they whom had returned them. For you see...on the top of that enevlope, or the first seven pages anyway__seeled inside, was the very letter itself; though the description of the contents returned__made no mention of it.

It was like i had been slaped in the face, spit on, and then laughed at. But it was worse, i know, because i have been slaped in the face, spit on, and had people laugh at me in the past. This was a breach of trust, and by someone i understood__all the world loved. Why my own mother__a collage prefessor, would have bowed at this woman's feet; had she ever the misfortune of actually meeting her. My sister, not only worshiped her, but tried to live her life according to every word, Oprah, would say. I had been brought-up in a house'hold of ladies, and taught nothing but respect__for all that, Oprah, could do, and all that, Oprah, would do. And yet...i had been betraied by her, and in a most visious way__even in a way that attacted my very diginity itself !! you see, on the top of that envelpoe i got from, oprah, was the letter__being made no mention of; which gave her the idea to launch and go on the rosie show all within ten days of my second letter which this time i mailed, rosie, herself...making me question whu, rosie, would ask, oprah, where she got the idea to launch; though, oprah, would make her wait a year so nobody realized i sent them both the same idea.

And it is this, this very thing itself__which drains me of the life-forces which allow me to survive. A man without dignity, is no man at all. For me, to loose my dignity, or to have it so abruptly taken away, and by someone i had learned to love, even trust...well i don't want to tell you what that feels like. It is a pain i live better with alone; for no one desurves to feel the way i do. I could not hope this upon my worst enemy, let alone those i wish to understand me.

But know this.
Those whom have so robed me, they whom have now plundered__yea even murdered through me, and, in the name of He whom i surve, from them i have no choice but continue attempting regain my dignity, and will do so with every breath i draw. Indeed, on the day i stand before my God, weather that day be near or it be far, and, am forced to answer to all that has occured because of my existance, weather i be guilty or i be innocent, i will stand before Him with at least__my dignity; while they whom have gained all the riches this world has to offer__simply through my betrail, will remain still but as if naked, clasping unto themselves nothing but shame.

Official Web-Page:
http://members.fortunecity.com/theministerofcool1